January 23rd 2012 was when I really started using the SparkPeople website and utilizing all of the tracking tools that they have to offer. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve noticed that I truly have changed my whole person; body, mind, and spirit. I know this is different not just some one time short term change. I've had moments of clarity and bursts of temporary motivation with some progress, only to regress back into my old bad habits. I've looked at myself and felt so angry for how much of my life I've let casually fly by with nothing to show for it.
So, I asked my self what was my "SPARK"? Something has changed in me permanently and I am not saying I won’t have set backs but I will never go back to who I used to be. From here on out I will always pick myself back up and keep moving forward.
My "SPARK" was unfortunately something very sad. I started searching for an old friend on Facebook to try and reconnect. I instead found his obituary. He had died of cancer at age 40 and left behind a wife and three beautiful children. He died only about 2.5 short years after we had lost touch with them. I had always pictured them growing old together surrounded by grandchildren. For me that was such a wake up call. I can tell you almost to the moment the date and time that this change to place in me it was the evening of November 9th 2011.
It wasn't as if I had not seen someone's life tragically cut short plenty of times before. But his death really and truly affected me and my husband. It took a couple of months of mourning my old friend and really thinking about my life and what I really wanted. I noticed all of the nothings that I filled my day with. I noticed the trivial things that I was uptight and OCD about. There are a plethora of things that don’t matter in the scope of life’s bigger picture. During that mourning period for my friend I started to let go, relax, and focus on the here and now.
It was also during that time period that my husband and I re-joined the world of Argentine Tango. Over the last 10 years we had taken Tango workshops and classes and attended the practica (practice) dances, but we let life pull us away. We would always say to each other we really need to start going to Tango Classes again and never would. Then we received notice via a Yahoo Group of a workshop that was coming up. We signed up in October and on November 11th almost exactly two days to the hour that we found out about our friend we attended the first class in the workshop.
The workshop and classes that we continued in after that were what helped me and us to make the permanent change that has taken place. Tango and how it changes your life… now that is a whole other blog post, maybe more! There are so many wonderful intricacies involved with immersing oneself into the Argentine Tango World. We’ve also made amazing new friends!
The age old lesson applies here. “Life is short so make the most of it!” Whether we are blessed enough to live long healthy happy lives or we are cut short, I am happy in the here and now with no more regrets or pity parties. The pity party train has left the station for the last time and I was not on it!
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